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My game of choice are slots in a casino and online. I personally drink way less now I think that's why I gamble way less. The problem I feel most gamblers have when they are trying to quit is the influx of emotions that take over you once you realize your not ever going to be a winner. At first, I was driving 2 hours to the closest casino, but then I found the smaller spots with just a few machines and have timed it for the times they are available.{/INSERTKEYS}{/PARAGRAPH} But the longer I stay away the easier it gets I find. One day at a time and within no time we will have our lives and bank accounts back. I didn't gamble I just walked around the corner to my friends house all my compadres were outside I grabbed a brew and we just started having a good time talking, joking, laughing and I even shared with them I am really trying to tackle this problem seriously this time. I just set a loafty goal myself which is about a month process and I'm challenging myself to not do any forms of gambling or gaming in that respected time frame. I know because I'll be completely honest I've gambled a couple times since my orginally post and everytime I ended up gambling was after a few drinks and reach in my pocket and have a wad of cash. They were kind of dual addictions fueling each other. That's deep. I really hate gambling!! I have not went back to online gaming at all. If you don't mind me asking still time what was your game of choice? That anger is the main ingredient that sets most of us off course but you have to contain it and my best advice for containing it is understand that if you make it in the long haul without betting you will be a happier person and no matter what it's only 24 hours in day so just because your angry today because of what you did in the past, tomorrow you will feel better especially if you don't gamble today. Also find your triggers that is a must so you can have more sense of control. I have lost money. It's a constant struggle. As complusive gamblers we dwell on the fact that we can never gamble again and that freaks us out because you say to yourself but I love gambling it's something I enjoy doing I can't imagine never placing another bet ever but do you really love gambling? The strange thing is, with me - this all happened so fast. Winning is not betting. I have more money than when I orginallly posted and a better car ;. No more. Gambling has consumed me-like a fire, like a bad plague. I'm on day 12 gamble free, there have been some ups and downs but overall hope is starting to return and I'm looking forward to enjoying life fully again. IM not using GA because I find GA try's to strip you of your identity and it makes you feel like some sick powerless person and by no disrespect I know gambling is a disease and I'm not shaming those who go but I just can't commit to being so powerless and using some of their terminology because it creates a weak minded mentality my personal opinion there. And yeah, we're not powerless over quitting like they say in GA plus too many breaches of anonymity with the big mouths. This is the motivation I am using to beat my addiction. Sports betting-lifetime loser craps-lifetime loser poker-lifetime loser although I did have two consecutive winning years hourly turned out to be only 11hr-terrible and when you consider the amount of tobacco I smoked I probably lost two years off my life blackjack-lifetime loser baccarat-lifetime loser. You see for me doing it like this is easier on my mental than I will never gamble again that's like way to much pressure to fulfill. True champion. Now I say I was a fool for continuing to try and beat the odds I succumb to the fact That me personally I can't win. Alcohol gives false confidence so if you know you will be drinking don't bring a lot of money period. I love of this post. I keep asking myself that above question, how did this happen? I am angry with myself. I'm also glad my post reach someone because that was my objective and to very honest with myself. These are great steps. I love the slots. I have been a complusive gambler for 9yrs but now I realize that quitting is really not that hard if you REALLY WANT to quit, you just have to develop a HATE for gambling and stop thinking it's what you love doing because really it's not it's just become routine to you. I will tell you why, I have gambled everything you can think except ponies and slots never got into those forms of gaming because no skill involved and I just knew those games were dumps. I like winning. Ghandi said something of the extent, A man will sacrifice his health for wealth then spend his wealth trying to get back his health. But that's because I have no control of that. I'm constantly lying about where I am, what I spent money on. Why can't I realize that the house is always going to win. I try to get creative and fool myself into thinking I can double the money but you can't. Quitting is winning. Thank you for the support still time and congrats to you as well on 12 days. Day 2 Yesterday I registered on this forum. I blew through all of my money in Vegas, called my spouse crying to deposit more money in my account I called my parents crying with the same bunch of baloney and bam You guessed it - all spent. No more betting. A lot. I was able to save some because I stop carrying debit cards and large amounts of cash trust me a lot of cash in pocket is a trigger. I think also what has helped me is mapping out daily plans when you get up so you don't gamble and if you do gamble it will seemed contrived because your not keeping your goals to yourself. I have lost thousands, stolen from my family, lied, and lived with a tremendous amount of guilt due to all the harm gambling has inflicted on my life. Hi I am currently doing well not great. The best days have yet to come from us. I'll be honest it's a long journey that you have continue to be aware of because it's easy to fall back into the pattern of just gambling everyday. I mean when I play, I go balls to the wall meaning I will get absolutely shit faced intoxicated normally while I'm winning then by sunrise I'm completely drunk and broke and smoke 10 black and milds in 1 DAY!!! Not losing. But O still find myself ensnared to this vice. And I lose at gambling. I am struggling and I'm wondering what my triggers are because it seems that all I think about is gambling. I had gambled a couple of times on vacations but not too long ago I went to a conference in Vegas and after a bit of beginner's luck I was hooked. Now, I'm back home chasing my losses. My spouse is angry with me. I said to myself what's the point even if I win this tourney I'll be trapped and that's not the goal we want to be bet free and debt free so I dumped it very next hand on purpose and I was out but what came next was something I never did before. I hate it too and can't believe that I let myself get this bad. I shared some background on myself as a gambler and commented on a few others post to become active within the community. Sound familiar? I leave work and say I have an appointment to go gamble, take money from my husband's account to go gamble, pawn things to go gamble. Some would say how come all of a sudden you hate gambling.? Best of luck to all recovering gamblers Till next time K. You have to come back stronger and more determined because you can do this. See why I hate gambling now I was honest with myself in all facets I'm a loser when it comes to gambling and the irony is I hate losing so if I hate losing I should hate gambling because all I do is lose no matter how much I'm up so by not gambling I'm winning and I love winning in life plus with your new found state of mind you will shock those around you by not gambling and even those gambling buddies will start to envy you because chances are there losing too but can't muster up the courage to quit like you. I live, walk, sleep thinking of the next bet. It sounds like you have really recognized that you have a problem and you are willing to fight to get your life back. We can do this. I know few who are actually winners but I know some and they smoke like chimneys or drink like fish so really their speeding up the day to lay in peace sooner than they normally mey have. Some idiot misses a free throw or throws a pick six in the final minute, and I'm the loser for that!? My friends have heard it all before but they were very supportive and that made me feel happy as well. I renewed my self exclusion for another 5 months and that I am proud of very much. {PARAGRAPH}{INSERTKEYS}Today is my first day actually of being a recovering gambling addict. Later in the evening I had a urge to gamble in my brain well maybe not a urge but gambling thoughts were coming in and out but what was weird I felt in my heart I didn't want to gamble and I didn't even like gambling because it has destroyed me. Yes I have come to gripes that I am a complusive gambler and have also admitted it to all my friends who already knew but since I have come clean it has taken a lot off my shoulders and has help me to embrace this never ending journey. I now truly understand you can't win in gambling and even if your a lifetime winner you still lose because of the time wasted in casinos. I try not to say I'm sick that's such an excuse gamblers tend to lean on. I dream of a world debt free and bet free. You're right. Hi I enjoyed reading your story and just wondering how you are doing now. Sorry for the rant but back to the gambling really only the first pay cycle is hard if you have a job because your forced to go to work broke and thoughts of never gambling ever again start to consume your brain and it becomes hard to concentrate but once you get paid that all goes away and you feel amazing but remember this if you gamble that check and lose it, it will most certainly make you lose your sanity all over again. I'm about 2 hours away from getting through Day 1. I am strong minded individual who knows you can do anything you put your mind too I watch my dad cold turkey stop smoking crack when I was 10 go back to get his masters and become a principal no rehab no relapse or nothing. My best advice is never give up because you messed up. That's how I developed this hate I took all my self neglect and angry towards myself and put it towards the thing I should be angry at the games.